The Pursuit Of Happiness

Everybody wants to be happy but what does being happy really mean?

The pursuit of happiness is one that examplifies many of the innate motivations of human kind, taking us from pure survival to a sense of thriving.

I'll be the first to admit that life can sometimes feel like a battle, but experience has definitely taught me to embrace the struggle and view each hurdle as a chance to move in a new direction, with new opportunities.

If I refer to Maslow's hierachy of needs (a well recognised theory of motivation within psychology), we can associate these motivations and needs within our own pursuit for happiness.

1. Physiological needs.

• Air
• Water
• Food
• Sex
• Shelter.

2. Safety & Security.

• Personal security
• Financial security
• Health and well-being
• Safety net against accidents/illness and their adverse impacts

3. Love & Belonging.

• Friendship
• Intimacy
• Family

4. Self-Esteem

• Feeling respected
• Feeling valued
• Feeling accepted

5. Self actualisation

• Fulfilling ones's perceived potential
• Mastery of previous needs and motivations
• Self-transcendence (a goal bigger and outside of oneself)

Although it's not completely definitive, this theory allows us to understand some needs and motivations that can lead to a happier state of mind. It also relates to our perception of the world and how we process, interpret and respond to life through our 5 senses (sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste). Each person’s model of the world is different, as we all view the world from a different seat. We each have our own perspective on experiences, as we process our thoughts into feelings, emotions and actions. One person’s version of happiness could literally be another person’s version of a nightmare, it really can be all relative.

Here are a few simple ways i've learnt to improve levels of general happiness:

Understand fear

Your attitude and personality traits probably include a multitude of life coping mechanisms to fear. This can either guide you in the direction of progress or restrict and suffocate your ability to feel happiness. A good way to identify your true, deep down fears is to firstly identify your coping mechanisms. They can make up every facet of your being and include obsessiveness, limiting beliefs, denial, lack of confidence, poor eating habits, lack of motivation, depression and anxieties. Usually these boil down to a fear of change, a fear of the process of change, a fear of the outcome of change, a fear of failure and a fear of how you are perceived by the world around you. These fears may also be conditioned, learnt behaviours on both a conscious and subconscious level.

Think about what’s holding you back. The biggest obstacle for most people is themselves, their mind-set and their ability to address deep fears. To overcome these fears and feel happiness you need to identify them, understand them, accept them for what they are and decide how you’re going to use that fear. This new level of self-awareness will help you push forwards.

Give love

This may sound like a hippy statement but what you put out there is usually what reflects back. If you rarely invest your love, time and support into others, then I doubt you’ll receive much back in return and there’s a strong possibility you won’t feel too happy either.

In the absence of monetary gain, how much love are you putting out there right now? Are you positively encouraging and supporting your friends, family and colleagues to do great things? Or are you mostly focused on yourself, your own world, your own gain and your own problems?

When you’re feeling unhappy there is a common tendency to isolate yourself, become insular and therefore give less as you don’t feel up to engaging with the world around you. Again, this relates to fear and is a cycle that needs breaking so you can truly experience the potential that the act giving can bring to your levels of happiness.

Start giving your time to others and I promise that you’ll feel a whole lot happier in return. Be proactive, call somebody, ask someone how their day was or just start with any random act of kindness. Giving happiness to others is like a boomerang, it’ll come back towards you.

Life is rarely simple or easy and is usually defined by our struggles, so give love in the knowing that many people are in the same boat as you.

Progress

Progress is about taking personal responsibility for how you feel and live your life. It’s about making positive choices and decisiveness. Procrastination and a ‘start tomorrow’ attitude is a sure fire way to frustration, lack of motivation and ultimately an unhappy outcome.

Taking action builds momentum. Momentum and positive feedback builds confidence and then confidence inspires more positive action. This cycle can drive a sense of happiness.

Progress could mean making your bed every morning or committing to attending a regular social event. Small steps add up to huge leaps when you reflect on where you started from.

Progress really does relate back to understanding your own fears, so it's maybe a good time to slowly push your comfort zones and start something different.

As Albert Einstein once said, "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity".

Instead of battling to feel happy, let's take every opportunity to experience a new sense of happiness.

Life's too short not to.